I haven't been in good terms lately with my mom and we've been in cold war for almost three weeks now. I just thought of blogging my thoughts as well as reflecting and I hope I feel better after this and hopefully things between us would get better, that I would be more understanding. Everything is going to be unedited and I'll just type whatever that I think so pardon me if this turns out messy. Also when I say "mom" in this post, do take it to account that it could consists both my parents in general but because my dad works overseas, I hardly get to see him and that I am thinking about my mom more this time while writing this.
-
It's so difficult to be communicating with mom now, I wake up in the morning rushing everything through then I am away from home for hours, only returning back during the wee hours when she is probably already asleep otherwise we get home, exchange a few words and head to bed to use the computer because it was a tough day and I just need my own time.
It saddens me, I miss the good old days whereby we could have dinner together. I remember how I looked at my older brother when I was a kid, asking myself why haven't he been talking to us and why is he always in his room with the music so loud. I could totally understand why now.
Does it also makes your heart ache a-little, to see how much effort your mom puts in to communicate with you sometimes? Say, she creates a Facebook account hoping to interact with us, but we shunt them away instead because it's an "embarrassment" and it's "not cool" to have your mom commenting and "making fun" of you on social media, where all your friends could see. I used to be like that but I am glad I've understood her point of view and purpose in doing so and I really really appreciate it.
As we grow older, we argue more, we have cold wars but at the end of the day but deep down inside we know that she still loves us. The little actions that our parents do, despite us arguing with them - there are times whereby I do not talk to my mother for days due to an argument but I still return home with food on the table. I am sure they get unreasonable at times but I believe they have no ill intentions.
I guess we are all so busy growing up, sometimes we forget that our mom (and dad) are growing old too. The next time you argue with your parents, take a minute and think - you return home on another usual night realizing that both your parents aren't home only to receive a call soon after that they had an accident and both of them lost their lives - was the cold war and harsh words all worth it or necessary? Would you live with regrets and wish that you guys were in good terms instead? I guess it's only human to be upset and angry once in awhile, but they're after all our parents.
